Did you know by the time you start as an attending you would have finished about
12,000–16,000 hours of clinical training?
Yes, and this does not include all the time you invested in studying all and every book and
research paper there is.
That is a LOT of training and if all those clinical hours, all those hours of studying, cramming
coagulation cascades, and Krebs cycle and types of renal tubular acidosis have left you still
feeling like a fraud, then maybe the answer is not going to present itself by another 16,000
hours of clinical practice.
Maybe it will not come as you age both physically, mentally, and professionally.
This condition of Imposter Syndrome is mentioned so frequently that it has lost its weight for
some.
Drs. Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes, two clinical psychologists, first identified and
named this phenomenon back in 1978. Originally it was considered to be a concern for women
but later recognized to be present in both men and women.
Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines it as “a psychological condition that is characterized by
persistent doubt concerning one’s abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of
being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one’s ongoing success.”
Let’s break this down further and see if we can find points of reflection:

This is a very deep point of impact. This tells you that you do not feel worthy enough. The deep self-worth doubts will seep into every aspect of your being. This is how you doubt yourself not just as a capable physician but also as a capable parent, spouse, and more.

Reflection Point: Can you list five roles in your life where you are constantly doubting yourself? I did not just have imposter syndrome at work but I felt it as a mother too. And this doubt breeds inadequacy.

This is where you might not completely realize how much you are hiding consciously and subconsciously. You do not share all the amazing ideas you have to help your patients and practice thrive. You do not make friends with that certain someone at work/outside work or you do not engage in other meaningful relationships. Why? Because when you let someone in on your ideas, they might figure out you are not that smart and if you let someone in your life, unfortunately, you fear the same. When you let this fear go unmanaged, you are “barely living” and definitely not living to your highest potential. And let’s face it there is a certain comfort in this fear. You do not need to push yourself further. You do not have to take that next step by shrinking and hiding. But I also want you to be true to yourself by recognizing that the smaller you try to keep yourself, the more painful the thoughts of all the untapped possibilities will be. Living in “coulda, shoulda, woulda” is not fun.

Reflection Point: Can you list all the ways you are hiding behind this fear of being exposed? Knowing these fears and seeing them in written form can be incredibly powerful to help you take that next step.

This part is factual of Imposter Syndrome. It is there.

Reflection Point: How many incredible things have you achieved in your life from the time you decided to enter medical school to now? List them down. Forget being modest, list down all your incredible educational, professional, AND personal achievements. This is hard data. Have it available to you in your phone’s notes tabs or Google Drive app or anywhere easily accessible, ready to be reviewed, and keep adding to it.

I like to break this definition down in this manner because it allows us to reflect and create strategies to break free from this incessant cycle of under-feeling our lives.

I use the word “under-feeling” because as an imposter, you are trying to constantly shrink yourself down and hide instead of leaning into the magnanimity that can be your beautiful wonderful life.

Imposter syndrome, the word so excessively used can have a huge impact on your life. There is good news though! I do believe it can be managed to the point that dare I say, it is cured. I know you are skeptical reading this because many seasoned physicians and humans still feel this way. Try to work on steps 1, 2, and 3 above and it will allow you to start getting some momentum. You are enough and you are needed. What you do, matters.